Post by Ami on Mar 18, 2013 21:35:01 GMT -5
It's a chilly, quiet evening in the western suburbs of Boston. The weather channels are predicting snow again. I'm huddled in an oversized throw blanket and pink pajamas as I stare at the screen and wonder how to start a post like this one.
It's been a long time since I've had any right to call myself leader of THBC/G. That honor goes to Frosty, who's been our unfaltering life support since she first joined us over eight years ago. The rest of you, too, have my deep gratitude and admiration for so loyally remaining the life blood of the club. That kind of dedication is a rare and lovely thing.
I've been involved in other online communities since my sad, inconclusive departure from Neopets, but none of them have ever been as rewarding as this one. The more of the world I see, the more I realize what a truly unique community we had here. I watched you all grow into fantastic artists, amazing writers, and really, really good people. We were lucky enough to find each other in those early years where so much growing happens, and we stuck by each other through everything.
After I graduated from college, I turned up my collar and took whatever job would have me, hoping to wait out the recession. I've lost loved ones, struggled with depression, and given up on a lot of dreams. For the past two years I've been working at Turbine, Inc., maker of Lord of the Rings Online. Since I've been here, I've stood directly in the hurricane path of the bald, shameless greed of corporate America. Every day, I see good ideas crushed, budgets slashed, and promises broken. I sit through corporate meetings about how to addict consumers and convince them to part with money they can't afford to spend. I'm not seen as the kind, creative, talented individual I am, but as a worker warming a seat who can be replaced with little trouble.
But it doesn't have to be like this. I don't want to build my life around my work; I want to build my work around my life. As I write this, I'm in the beginning steps of establishing myself as a freelance writer and editor. Words are what make me come alive, and so words are what I'm going to do. I feel empowered just by choosing to take more control over the direction of my own path. Already, I can feel my old excitement about the beauty and potential of life returning.
As I contemplate this, I can't help but think about my younger joys, so many of which came from the Stalking Grounds. Just like the house you grew up in or your favorite playground, this forum is a relic from an earlier, simpler time. I can take a stroll through it and rediscover how much of me I left here. It's painful sometimes, but it also makes me smile. It's almost heartbreaking how emphatically young we were.
Sometimes I log onto Neopets to wander the site, and try to reconcile how this flashy sea of candy-colored Disney mediocrity could possibly be the fertile ground of imagination from which I built my creative self. It's so hard to watch Neopets, a name that means so many firsts to me, fall prey to the same impersonal conformity that surrounds me every day. It's harder to think that, even if we still had the time and energy, the thing that brought us together really is gone forever.
Even so, what's gone is not forgotten. I don't have much use for Peophins anymore, but Cocapori is still with me. His name is Oendir now, and he's as beloved to me as he's always been. He, and the others, grow and change much the way I do, adapting to fit their new situations (with considerably more aplomb than I ever manage!). Regardless of the strange, alien Neopets That Is, I will always love the Neopets That Was. I could write a whole new post on all the reasons why, but I doubt I need to, because all of you remember it, too.
Some people have a tree, or a clubhouse. Some have diner, a school, or a parking lot. We have a forum. We grew up here, in the company of our beloved magical horses, awash in creativity, drama, support, and excitement. Just like that clubhouse or that diner, the forum is quiet and empty now. But we remember when it wasn't. The truth is that THBC/G will never die, because we remember when it was alive. What it meant to us, how it helped us grow...that will never go away.
I miss all of you more than I can say. I want to know how you're doing, about the people you've become since I went away. I want to hear about your joys and triumphs, your sorrows and hurts...anything you want to tell me, because you matter and it's been a long time since I've been here to listen.
If you want, connect with me on Facebook. Maybe if enough people connect, we can make a page to honor the legacy that is so perfectly, so uniquely ours. Neopets isn't a good place, and the SG isn't our home anymore, but we can choose to stay in touch. All of us deserve to have reminders of the magical days that gave succor to our growing imaginations. Let's be that for each other, just like we've always been.
Such love,
Ami
It's been a long time since I've had any right to call myself leader of THBC/G. That honor goes to Frosty, who's been our unfaltering life support since she first joined us over eight years ago. The rest of you, too, have my deep gratitude and admiration for so loyally remaining the life blood of the club. That kind of dedication is a rare and lovely thing.
I've been involved in other online communities since my sad, inconclusive departure from Neopets, but none of them have ever been as rewarding as this one. The more of the world I see, the more I realize what a truly unique community we had here. I watched you all grow into fantastic artists, amazing writers, and really, really good people. We were lucky enough to find each other in those early years where so much growing happens, and we stuck by each other through everything.
After I graduated from college, I turned up my collar and took whatever job would have me, hoping to wait out the recession. I've lost loved ones, struggled with depression, and given up on a lot of dreams. For the past two years I've been working at Turbine, Inc., maker of Lord of the Rings Online. Since I've been here, I've stood directly in the hurricane path of the bald, shameless greed of corporate America. Every day, I see good ideas crushed, budgets slashed, and promises broken. I sit through corporate meetings about how to addict consumers and convince them to part with money they can't afford to spend. I'm not seen as the kind, creative, talented individual I am, but as a worker warming a seat who can be replaced with little trouble.
But it doesn't have to be like this. I don't want to build my life around my work; I want to build my work around my life. As I write this, I'm in the beginning steps of establishing myself as a freelance writer and editor. Words are what make me come alive, and so words are what I'm going to do. I feel empowered just by choosing to take more control over the direction of my own path. Already, I can feel my old excitement about the beauty and potential of life returning.
As I contemplate this, I can't help but think about my younger joys, so many of which came from the Stalking Grounds. Just like the house you grew up in or your favorite playground, this forum is a relic from an earlier, simpler time. I can take a stroll through it and rediscover how much of me I left here. It's painful sometimes, but it also makes me smile. It's almost heartbreaking how emphatically young we were.
Sometimes I log onto Neopets to wander the site, and try to reconcile how this flashy sea of candy-colored Disney mediocrity could possibly be the fertile ground of imagination from which I built my creative self. It's so hard to watch Neopets, a name that means so many firsts to me, fall prey to the same impersonal conformity that surrounds me every day. It's harder to think that, even if we still had the time and energy, the thing that brought us together really is gone forever.
Even so, what's gone is not forgotten. I don't have much use for Peophins anymore, but Cocapori is still with me. His name is Oendir now, and he's as beloved to me as he's always been. He, and the others, grow and change much the way I do, adapting to fit their new situations (with considerably more aplomb than I ever manage!). Regardless of the strange, alien Neopets That Is, I will always love the Neopets That Was. I could write a whole new post on all the reasons why, but I doubt I need to, because all of you remember it, too.
Some people have a tree, or a clubhouse. Some have diner, a school, or a parking lot. We have a forum. We grew up here, in the company of our beloved magical horses, awash in creativity, drama, support, and excitement. Just like that clubhouse or that diner, the forum is quiet and empty now. But we remember when it wasn't. The truth is that THBC/G will never die, because we remember when it was alive. What it meant to us, how it helped us grow...that will never go away.
I miss all of you more than I can say. I want to know how you're doing, about the people you've become since I went away. I want to hear about your joys and triumphs, your sorrows and hurts...anything you want to tell me, because you matter and it's been a long time since I've been here to listen.
If you want, connect with me on Facebook. Maybe if enough people connect, we can make a page to honor the legacy that is so perfectly, so uniquely ours. Neopets isn't a good place, and the SG isn't our home anymore, but we can choose to stay in touch. All of us deserve to have reminders of the magical days that gave succor to our growing imaginations. Let's be that for each other, just like we've always been.
Such love,
Ami